Hurt By You
by moonfaerie326
Summary: Life wasn't fair, she should have known that by now. But she still had hoped things would be different, that she wouldn't have to say goodbye over the phone. TIVA - Rated M for final chapter
1. i

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own NCIS, gosh keep rubbing salt on my wounds.**

**This is a two-shot. :] I hope you enjoy it. I had lots of fun writing this. I will hopefully get the second part out soon. I have a lot of stuff I am working on, and that never seems to end, but I am not complaining. **

She heard it often enough, "Life is not fair," she even lived it. Having her father treat her like just another heartless assassin was not fair, having her sister die at age sixteen was not fair having to kill her half brother, whom at that time she was closer to than anyone else, was definitely not fair. But this had to top all of that.

It had been a normal day, she'd gone to work, Tony got a phone call from the hospital around 1100h and left rather quickly and she and McGee had to fill in for him, again. Then Ziva had gotten up to file some paperwork and she'd been called up to Director Shepard's office. That was when she'd gotten the news that flipped her world upside down.

–

Ziva pushed open the doors of the Director's office once Cynthia had given her the okay; she made her way into the space that her longtime friend occupied.

"Jenny." She greeted with a small smile and a slight nod.

"David." Director Shepard stated, she held no pretenses of a friendly conversation in her expression, she obviously wanted to get down to business straight from the get go.

When Ziva noticed the expression on Jenny's face, hers dropped into a stoic mask, one she'd become accustomed to using.

Jenny took a deep breath. She wasn't sure how she was supposed to break the news. She knew Ziva would be able to handle it, she was strong, it was herself and the rest of the team she wasn't so sure about. "Officer David, we just received some news from Mossad." Ziva nodded, her expression still giving away nothing. "They've called you back to service."

Inside Ziva's body was screaming no, her was breaking and she felt like crying. But on the outside, her expression didn't change she simply nodded her head. "Of course, Director Shepard." She stated formally, "When do I leave?"

Jenny couldn't help but feel proud of the young woman she'd grown so fond of over the years, she just wished she could have hid the way this had affected her so well. She'd ended up in a shouting match with Director David, and she'd feared she might have made Ziva's possibility of returning slim to none. "You fly out tomorrow morning, at 0730h." She stated solemnly, "You may go home and begin packing once you've cleared out your desk."

With yet another nod, Ziva turned and made her way to the door for the last time. She wouldn't show how much this was affecting her, for this was just another point on the list of why she hated her father.

"Ziva." Jenny called out as Ziva twisted the handle, ready to leave her office. "They did not terminate your liaison position with NCIS, there is still a chance that you can return. I _will_ see you again."

She couldn't stop the hope that blossomed in her chest, though she tried. She did not believe she would be coming back, she knew her father, and she knew Mossad, and she knew the chances of either letting her go back to NCIS were very low.

"Bye Director." She said as she left the office for the final time. She couldn't stop the bittersweet smile that rose to her lips as she remembered all her times at NCIS. She remembered the first hug she'd received from Abby, the way it had thrown her off guard, but she'd relished it all the same, because it was the first time someone had impulsively thrown themselves at her without any fear present. She wasn't used to that. She remembered the first time she'd received an infamous Gibbs' slap, and she'd laughed outright at it. She remembered the first time she and McGee had one of their talks, the way he'd attempted to make her feel better about being new. She remembered the way she and Tony bantered on a daily basis, and she also remembered how that had seemed to stop within the past few weeks. They still bantered, still playfully chided each other, but something was different, something was off about them, and now she'd never be able to figure it out because Mossad needed her back. Ziva walked down the stairs, the same smile on her lips. At least she would always have the memories to keep with her.

She walked straight to her desk without a word. She didn't know what to say to McGee or Gibbs, she didn't know how to say whatever it is she was supposed to say. She simply began to pile her stuff into the empty box she had sitting behind her desk. She had used it for shredded paper about a week ago, and she had not recycled it yet, she guessed that was a good thing, for now she would not have to make several trips to and from her car to get all of her stuff together. This would be easier, for all of them.

Only after she'd placed a couple items in the box had Gibbs stood in front of her, a glare present on his features, and his hand holding onto the item she was about to place inside the box. "Gibbs." She acknowledged softly, letting go of the item they had both been holding, in favor of pulling stuff out of her drawers.

"What do you think you're doing, Ziva?" He asked, his voice harsh yet soft at the same time.

"I am packing." She stated simply, dropping stuff in her box. Pictures she kept locked within her drawer, and other desk items.

"Why are you packing, David?" All traces of softness gone from his tone, as all of his patience was lost.

"I am going back to Mossad Gibbs." With much effort, her voice did not crack once. Gibbs merely raised an eyebrow in her direction, and she knew why. She had purposely made it sound as if it was her choice to leave, figuring it would be easier that way. "I have been recalled." She said softly, her hair falling over her face. She placed the last of her items in her box, her hair still obstructing Gibbs' view of her face.

She sucked in a breath, and reached for her box as she lifted her gaze once more. "Ziver," Gibbs stated softly again, his hands covering hers. "This isn't goodbye." He stated as he pulled her into a hug, "This is merely parting words between friends who _will_ see each other soon." He patted her back affectionately. Both he and the woman in his arms trying hard to keep their emotion's in check, for they had grown to view the other as family.

"Of course Gibbs." Ziva smiled a genuine smile, her lips slightly quivering but other than that her tears remained unseen. She didn't tell him Jenny had pretty much stated that they would see each other again in the same way, they both had a way of making it seem as if it wasn't wishful thinking, but fact.

Gibbs nodded to her, and she made her way over to McGee who had stood up sometime during her and Gibbs' exchange. "Timothy." Ziva stated, "It has been a real pleasure to work with you." She smiled, "Do not let Tony make you do extra work either, stand up for yourself." She gave shook his hand, surprised when he pulled her into a hug.

"Bye Ziva." He stated sadly. "Come back home soon, okay?" He stated, and she smiled.

Ziva pulled away, and the next thing she knew she was practically tackled to the ground by Abby. "Oh my god Ziva. Gibbs just called me he told me Mossad has called you back. That's so dumb, I can't believe they would do such a thing. Can't they see that we need you, don't they understand that you are our butt-kicking ninja chick. What are we supposed to do without you? Lee will be on the team again, and she's all right and all, but she's no you Ziva. It just won't be the same. When will you be back? Hopefully soon-"

"Abby!" Ziva gasped out, for throughout the Goth's rant her grip had gotten tighter and tighter until it was nearly impossible for the Israeli to breath.

"Sorry," Abby loosened her grip but still clung to Ziva like her life depended on it.

"It is alright Abby." She stated, returning the hug. "I will miss you." She whispered quietly.

"Don't leave Ziva." Tears began to fill Abby's eyes. "There is so much we haven't done Ziva. You've been here for over a year and we haven't even took you on a tour of Washington." The tears began to fall, as Abby thought about. "Why didn't I show you around Ziva?" She wailed into the shoulder of the smaller woman.

"Abby it will be fine. We were both busy with work." Ziva stated.

"No Ziva, its not fine. I wasted too much time being angry with you over something you had no control over." Self-remorse filled Abby at that thought, why had she ever held Kate's death against Ziva.

"When I get back Abby. When I get back." With that she stepped out of Abby's grasp and headed towards Ducky, who had come up shortly after Abby had. "Dr. Mallard." She smiled softly at him. "I rather enjoyed all of your stories Ducky. I just regret not being able to hear more of them." She wondered if he realized how much he had helped her.

"Oh my dear." Ducky stated solemnly, pulling the poor girl into his arms. "You will hear more. Don't you worry." He smiled sadly at her as she sad her goodbyes to Palmer.

"Jimmy." She turned to him. "I wish you well, with school and your life." She nodded towards him with a smile. He didn't pull her into a hug like everyone else had, and she wouldn't initiate it.

"Bye Ziva." He stated, lifting his hand in an awkward wave.

Ziva walked over to her desk, picking up her box with little effort. "Goodbye everyone. I will miss you all." She said loudly, and began her walk to the elevator. She pushed the button, and looked back at Tony's empty desk. She made a mental note to call him later, so she could tell him goodbye as well.

She smiled at the people she'd grown to love over the past year, she glanced up at Jenny as she stood on the stairs, the look of determination on the older woman's face let Ziva know she wasn't going to give up on getting her back. The elevator dinged when it arrived, and then it opened, Ziva stepped into the steel box. The door closed, and Ziva couldn't help but to chuckle at the symbolic gesture of it all. The doors also were now closed on her time at NCIS.

-

Ziva packed her apartment up, putting everything she needed into her suitcase and leaving anything else. She knew her father would be sending someone to pack her stuff up and ship it to Tel Aviv. She thought the whole idea of that was idiotic, but it couldn't be helped, that was the way her father did things.

Once everything was in her suitcase and it was all zipped and sitting by the door Ziva sat back on her heel and sighed, wiping her brow. She glanced at her phone sitting on the coffee table. She had called Tony when she had gotten back to her apartment, and like she had expected she hadn't gotten an answer. She simply hung up, not wanting to say goodbye in a voicemail. She'd called him again, before she started packing, still no answers. She'd even stopped in the middle of packing to see if she could reach him, but that was to no avail. She tried his apartment a few times as well, only for it to ring continuously before she finally gave up. She really wished he would get an answering machine for his apartment because she was never one to give up too easily and the way she always let his phone ring ten times before finally hanging up proved that fact.

Ziva walked over to her phone, and flipped it open. No calls had been missed, she had to admit she'd been hoping that maybe Tony had seen that she had called and called back, but that was not the case.

Ziva quickly held down the number one button and then put her phone to her ear when it went through. She listened to the ringing of the phone that noise was beginning to great on her nerves, but the click of the voicemail activating was getting to her even more. "You've reached Tony DiNozzo, leave a message." She hung up with a sigh. She'd just try him again before she went to bed that evening.

-

That night Ziva had takeout for dinner. She did not feel like making anything to eat that night, because she really didn't want to clean it up. She didn't eat much of her food at all, she ended up throwing most if it away, but she didn't mind she was beginning to feel numb.

Ziva took a shower, but she kept her phone in the bathroom on the counter, waiting for Tony to call back, she was beginning to loose hope that he would. Maybe she should leave a message, and then he would call back.

Ziva stepped out of the shower, dried off and immediately checked her phone. Nothing. She let out a breath of exasperation she was worried. Was he still at the hospital? She would have thought he would have called if it was something serious but now she was unsure.

As soon as Ziva was dressed she sat on her bed and hit send twice. The phone began to ring, and before Ziva knew it she got voicemail once again. "You've reached Tony DiNozzo. Leave a message." She sighed as the automated voice went through telling her to press five to leave her number, and then to leave a message after the beat. "Hi Tony. It is Ziva. Sorry I have called you so much today, I just had something to tell you, and I did not want to tell you over a message, but seeing as how I do not have much time left I will do just that. I have been recalled to Mossad. I will be leaving tomorrow morning. I just wanted to say goodbye. So, goodbye Tony, I am going to miss you and your absurd movie references. I wish you the best of luck Tony." A tear fell from her eye, streaking down her face. The single tear seemed to scorch her. "Shalom." She hung up, clutching the phone to her chest as she fell back onto the bed. She had wanted to tell Tony her feelings for him, but she figured it would just make everything harder.

She fell into a restless sleep soon after, clutching her phone tightly to her chest.

She woke up earlier than she usually did, which was saying something. She didn't go for a run; she simply sat there, staring at her phone. He did not call her back during the night.

At 0600h she left her apartment, rolling her suitcase behind her. She kept her phone in her coat pocket, thinking that maybe he would call on her drive there. He didn't. When she'd stepped into the airport she turned off her cell, she had given up hope of him calling within the last hour of her departure so there was no point in prolonging the agony of leaving her phone on only to have it not ring.

She went through the motions; getting her ticket from the counter, checking in her luggage, going through security, and waiting for them to announce her flight at the gate. She wasn't thinking about anything, she had to force herself not to. She didn't want to cry, not here.

"First class to Tel Aviv is now boarding." A nasally voice announced over the loud speaker.

"Well, that's me." Ziva muttered to herself as she stood up and began to head towards the line that had formed.

END PART ONE

Oh, my. My cat is staring at me its kind of freaking me out. Lol. Well that was weird to tell you but I just thought you should know. I think she is going to lie on the keyboard soon. _ She tends to do that to me when I am typing.

**Please, please, review. It would mean so much.**


	2. ii

This was really tough for me to write. And to make matters work, I had this piece started before I posted the last one, and I went to search for it the other day and it was GONE. So I had to start over, and it just did not want to come.

PART 2

Sometimes you don't realize what is right in front of you until it is taken away. Ripped from your grasp without even the slightest warning, leaving you empty handed and broken hearted.

Tony had heard many say it, but he had never lived it, never felt the pain of losing something you never quite possessed but that you longed for nonetheless. He now knew the pain, and it was the most intense feeling that ever cleaved through his veins.

That day had been the same as any other day. Ziva had arrived before him, and she'd greeted him with a twinkle in her eyes and a sarcastic comment – which he'd only recently begun to ignore – McGee had avoided eye contact with him, probably hoping to fly under the radar, and he'd gotten a head slap within his first hour of arriving. It was around 1100h that he'd gotten a phone call that caused him to leave, and he guessed that was when it'd all changed, though he didn't know it at the time.

--

Tony's eyes lit up and a smile pulled across his lips as he looked at the caller id of his ringing phone. _Uni-Hospital _it flashed, and he knew that could only mean one thing. "Tony," He answered, not noticing the way Ziva's eyes flashed in his direction.

"Can you come pick me up?" Jeanne spoke through the receiver, and he could tell by the sound of her voice that she was smiling.

He glanced around, noting that Gibbs was nowhere to be seen. "Of course. I'll be there as soon as I can." He announced hurriedly. He clicked his phone closed, and grabbed his jacket off of his chair. He placed his second cell phone in his pocket as he headed toward the elevator, he didn't spare a word to either of his co-workers, simply settling for a departing wave, after all he'd see them again tomorrow.

He smiled brighter as the elevator doors closed. He would be able to see Jeanne soon, their conflicting schedules had been preventing them from seeing each other as often as she had been hoping and he needed to make it up to her.

He didn't seem to realize his forgotten phone, as it lay nestled in its spot deep within his desk drawer.

--

Tony pulled up to the hospital, he didn't even have a chance to get out of the car before Jeanne was climbing through the passenger seat and placing a kiss on his cheek, smiling warmly at him. "Hi." She stated in a bubbly voice, practically bouncing in her seat.

He gently shook his head at her, "Hey." He smiled before putting his car in gear and driving off. "How have you been?" He questioned, glancing at her curiously out of the corner of his eye.

She sat facing him, her seat belt straining against her right shoulder as she tilted her head. "I've been alright. I've missed you." She grabbed his hand off the gearshift, squeezing his fingers.

"I've missed you too." He murmured, his eyes focusing on the road. The moment she'd stepped into his car he'd gotten a horrible feeling within his gut, and he could not shake it. The only thing keeping him from dropping Jeanne off and heading into work was the fact that they would call him if they needed him.

--

Tony sighed, leaning back in the chair gently rubbing his overstuffed belly.  
"That was really good." He complimented, grinning at his dinner companion.

She chuckled, taking in his content expression and the happiness that was present in his features, she enjoyed making him smile, even if it was just from her ordering Chinese takeout. "I tried really hard, you know."

"I saw the work you put into it." He nodded briefly, his eyebrows lifting. "I'm not sure I could have accomplished such a task." He gestured in front of him toward the empty food containers that littered the table and at the phone that lay haphazardly along the kitchen counter. "I mean with all the buttons and the numbers and then answering the door." He grunted. "I'd still be trying to figure it all out."

She laughed harder at his expression, tears springing to her eyes as she gasped for air. "I do what I can." She wheezed out, trying not to wobble too much on her precarious perch on the corner of the chair.

"And I thank you for it." He continued straight-faced.

She could no longer speak, her laughter overwhelming her, her hand covering her mouth as her shoulders shook from her efforts.

Tony smiled in amusement, though if someone who knew him were to look closely they could see the veiled disappointment in his eyes. He couldn't help to think of someone who would be able to keep up the ruse without laughing during the middle, causing the ending result to be much funnier and knowing this person it would turn into some sort of sexual innuendo. The someone in which his thoughts drifted too had long brown hair that fell in tumultuous curls, an accent that caressed the ears, and moves more deadly than anything he'd ever seen.

He sighed, releasing a soft chuckle as he pushed thoughts of her out of his mind. He'd been thinking of his partner throughout the entire day he'd spent with Jeanne and he chalked it up to the fact that he had been spending more time with Ziva than he had his own girlfriend, therefore it would only be natural for her to invade on his personal time. At least that's what he was trying to convince himself as he stared into the softened features of the woman across from him, instead of tracing the slender slope of Ziva's neck in his minds eye.

Jeanne wiped tears from her eyes, smiling sweetly in Tony's direction before pulling herself up from her chair and making her way over to Tony so she could take his hand. "I'm a little disappointed Tony."

Tony merely cocked an eyebrow in confusion, which she didn't seem to comprehend as she awaited his response. "And why is that?" He played along after a brief pause.

Her tone dropped to a husky whisper and his smile turned into his usual smirk, "For once you didn't recommend we skip dinner."

He brushed her hair away from her face, caressing his thumb gently along her cheek as he closed the distance between their lips. "Like I said, you put in some hard work." With that his lips caressed hers for a second before pulling back.

She shook her head before pulling away. "You'll just have to settle for skipping dessert today then."

He bit his tongue as she pulled him toward her room by his hand, he didn't feel right about making a comment about how she would be dessert and he didn't know exactly why that was. Little did he know, she'd been hoping for a comment of that sort, but didn't think anything of it as she closed the door to her bedroom behind them.

Tony hoped that this would be just what it took for him to forget that niggling feeling of worry that had been with him since he picked up Jeanne. It had his stomach tied up in knots and he was beginning to feel nauseas from the concern that was welling inside him.

He sucked in a deep breath before pulling her into a passionate kiss, hoping to drown out everything but the woman in his arms.

--

Tony arrived the next morning at 0700h with a smile on his face, last night had been just what he needed to forget about his worries and it showed in the bounce in his step. He rounded the corner to the squad room and the only thing he noticed was the downtrodden expressions on McGee's and Gibbs face. "Who died?" He joked lightheartedly, whirling on the spot to grace Ziva with his smirk only to come face to face with an empty desk. "Where's Ziva?" He questioned still eyeing the empty seat that seemed to bring back all his worry from the previous day. He turned to face the others his eyes wide with panic. "Guys?"

Gibbs looked up, a sharp look in his eyes. "She didn't call you DiNozzo?"

Tony shook his head slowly, his eyes wide. "No." He felt fear creep within him, and he didn't understand it.

Gibbs sighed and resumed his slow typing, obviously not caring if he accomplished anything in an ordinate amount of time. He felt like hitting Tony, he'd seen the look in Ziva's eyes the previous day as she looked at Tony's desk, and he knew her well enough to know she wouldn't leave without saying goodbye.

"McGee?" Tony asked the younger agent when Gibbs just ignored him.

"Tony, Ziva-" McGee started to say but was quickly cut off.

"Check your phone, DiNozzo." Gibbs stated in a harsh tone.

"What?" Tony stared dumbly, something happened and no one was telling him anything.

"Just do it." Gibbs sighed again. He didn't have to patience to deal with this; he had to figure out a way to get Ziva back.

Tony quickly stuffed his hands into his pockets rooting deep within the confines of his jacket for that illusive phone. "Aha!" He announced as he pulled it from his pocket, holding it above his head like some sort of gauntlet. His expression pulled into a frown when he noticed the tiny little mark that he'd placed near the top of the phone to tell the differences between the two. He turned toward his desk, placing the phone on top as he put his hands in his pocket once more.

He pulled his jacket off when he found nothing within the many crevices; tossing it onto his chair he pulled his backpack from the spot on the floor and begin to dig within the pockets that it held. "Where is that little thing?" He mumbled to himself. He threw his bag on the floor when he found nothing, and avoided Gibbs' gaze, he knew he would not like what he saw.

He slumped into his chair with a huff, scooting closer as he pulled open his top drawer to place his SIG inside. What he saw in there made his heart sink.

He slowly set his gun inside the drawer, gingerly picking up the blinking phone. _Oh no._

He flipped open the phone, his attention only wavering from the tiny electronic device to stare at the empty desk in front of him. He didn't dare look anywhere else.

He closed his eyes before turning his focus back to the phone, afraid of what he would find.

"10 missed calls" – flashed dauntingly in his face, and he hoped for the best as he hit the View All button. They could just be from old college buddies wanting to take a night on the town, right? But as he scrolled through the names he knew that wasn't the case. "Ziva" flashed before his eyes over and over and he could feel the tiny plastic device creak in his hand as he tightened his grip.

He pushed the clear button with a sigh, only to come in contact with something else. "1 new voicemail" His finger hovered over the "okay" button warily. Ziva never left messages; she found them frivolous and the fact that she did could only mean something huge.

He punched in his pass-code while he finally locked eyes with Gibbs – who'd been watching him the entire time. A glare was on the older mans features and Tony couldn't blame him as Ziva's voice filled his ears: _"Hi Tony. It is Ziva. Sorry I have called you so much today, I just had something to tell you, and I did not want to tell you over a message, but seeing as how I do not have much time left I will do just that. I have been recalled to Mossad. I will be leaving tomorrow morning. I just wanted to say goodbye. So, goodbye Tony, I am going to miss you and your absurd movie references. I wish you the best of luck Tony. Shalom."_

He wanted to punch something, he wanted to hit _himself_ but he knew none of that would make up for this. He quickly hit the recall button, not listening to the automated voice state when the message had been left. His breathing was heavily and his heart pounded as he waited for the call to connect. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly as he listened to her voicemail. "Shalom. This is Ziva David, leave your message." He couldn't help but to smile as he listened to her pretty much order him to leave a message.

He quickly hung up, pulling his jacket from his chair as well as his badge and gun from his drawer. "What time does she take off?" He yelled only to receive shrugs from the occupants of the bullpen.

He groaned in frustration, before a voice cut into the interrogation he had planned. "0730h."

He spun, only to come in contact with the director. "Thank you." He murmured after a staring contest went down between the two. He ran towards the elevator pushing the button with a force he didn't know he had, the button nearly cracked under the pressure.

"Come on, come on." He urged, as time seemed to slow. He glanced at his watch, he had twenty-five minutes before her flight left, and if he drove fast enough he may be able to make it.

With a frustrated sigh, he took off, forgoing the elevator altogether as he sprinted down the steps. He burst through the door to the garage and quickly headed towards his car, pulling his keys from his pocket and shoving them in lock not caring if it scratched up the paint. That didn't matter right now. He had to stop Ziva. He finally knew why she was on his mind all the time, and he needed to let her know.

His tires screeched as he floored it out of the parking lot, narrowly missing a pair of pedestrians as he drove. He just had to make it; there was no other choice.

--

He pulled into the airport, the clock on his dashboard taunting him as it clicked over to 7:23. He threw his car into park, turning off the ignition as he ran into the building; he ignored the shouts of "stop" and "you can't park there" simply replying with a yell of "Federal Agent!" as he flashed his badge to anyone who got in his way. He took a quick look at the flight board, before running towards gate 13.

By the time he made it to the gate he was panting, and had shoved his way through many passerby's and guards – all of which tried to stop him only to have a badge shoved in their face, and a shoulder pushed into their chest. He looked around the gate frantically, listening as the nasally speaker voice directed passengers. "Now boarding second class to Tel Aviv."

His gaze swung left to right, searching out the tiny Israeli who stole his heart with the same stealthy ninja moves she used to sneak up on him. He couldn't find any one who even closely resembled her, no one's hair shone bright enough, or held the same air about him. She was nowhere to be seen.

He made his way up to the ticket clerk flashing his badge once more before pushing on with his questioning. "Has Ziva David already boarded?"

The woman looked up startled, having just allowed the last passenger through. She began to shake her head, about to tell him she couldn't just hand out that information when he shoved his badge beneath her nose, and stared at her with a desperate look. She checked her list momentarily before she nodded her head, a meek "yes" falling from her lips. The man before her stumbled back as if she'd delivered a physical blow. "Thank you." He murmured as he turned away, his head hung low.

Tony felt defeated as he slowly made his way to his car; he ignored the reprimands he was given from security as he made his way out. It didn't matter, he failed in probably the biggest way possibly; he had never been given the chance to say goodbye.

I found it incredibly hard to write the JeannexTony parts. The entire time my mind kept yelling at me "This is wrong!" And with the lack of TIVA I've had lately I just didn't have the strength. So I have to read a bunch of Tiva-fics to build up my immunity.

So this is probably going to be going on a bit more. Although I do kind of like the way it ended right now at this moment, but I have a feeling not many of you are going to feel the same way. Let me know what you thought of it, there was a lot of things that didn't sit well with me in this chapter, and a lot that made me gleeful. Most of the things that I didn't like have to do with the fact that I am not very well traveled, so I do not know the inner workings of an airport and so on and so forth. For that I apologize.


	3. iii

**I was working on this piece for far too long. It just would not come to me. :/ I hope it turns out okay though because I had such high hopes for this.  
**

**WARNING: This chapter is rated M for sexual content. Not for children. Do not read if you do not wish to view the smex, that is all.**

Things weren't the same as they used to be, Tony could feel it the moment that she stepped off the elevator with her eyes as hard as steel and a tan that seemed to make her whole presence radiate more than ever – or that could have been the fact that he yearned for her like he'd never yearned for someone before. He felt his heart pick up speed as he watched her walk; the gentle sway of her hips was enticing and he wanted her, he just had to remind himself that he had a girlfriend.

She had only been gone a few months; less than Gibbs' absence but far more grueling than that. Tony's body filled with fear every time Gibbs' phone would ring, thinking that it was going to bring them horrid news of her passing. The call never came. He wondered if she was alright each and every second of the day but he never called her. She knew how to get a hold of him if need be and the need must not have been there for she never even bothered to send an email.

Finally being able to see her standing here in front of him, and not in his dreams, was amazing. She looked so much better than he remembered and he wanted to take her into his arms and never let go. But he could not do that; because things had changed, it was in the way she held her frame, and it was in the way his breathing flowed.

She was different, as was he and he didn't know the first step to take to mend the gap that had come between them.

--

Things changed; she could easily blame it all on him. Each day of her absence she had hoped for a phone call from him but each day had passed without any sort of contact and with each day her heart broke just a little bit further. She tried to forget the pain of never saying goodbye, she tried to let go of the ache that had settled within her but it wasn't easy to let go of and now that she was standing in the same room as him again the ache once again became a fresh pain.

He looked different, yet entirely the same. His hair was a bit longer, and his eyes a bit brighter. Her heart thumped that old tune she had acquitted to his presence and she loathed it. She wasn't supposed to feel this way, she wasn't supposed to need him. She avoided his gaze and she only talked when needed. She was back, and she was happy to be there; but she just wished she didn't have to feel this onslaught of emotion.

She put up her defenses as soon as she stepped off the elevator hiding behind the shell that had been newly refurbished with her time back in Mossad. She was stronger than ever, and this time she would not be broken down by all that was Anthony DiNozzo.

She had spent her time back at Mossad attempting to regain her sense of self; the person she was before NCIS. She didn't hate what she had become, she just hated the things that came with it; the jealousy she felt whenever Tony mentioned one of his dates, the way her heart would explode whenever he did something sweet, and most of all the way she longed for him to touch her the way he did in her dreams. She shook her head willing those thoughts to stay within the deep recesses in her mind, locked away for her to sort out later.

No matter how deep she had thrown herself into her work, she just couldn't forget; and that thought repulsed her, made her feel weak in a way she had hoped to avoid. She should have known there was no avoiding the inevitable; she should have known the attraction that was present since the first moment they meant. She simply should have known.

--

The air was thick and awkward; filled with unresolved tensions and hidden feelings. There were lingering stares – unknown but there – passed between coworkers.

Ziva shifted uncomfortably in her seat; she had to get used to being here again. Mossad and NCIS were like night and day and she found herself having problems adjusting to the light when all she was used to was the dark. She was glad to be back, the air around her felt lighter and she finally felt that he heart had eased from the tight grip it had been caught in for far too long; but that feeling was often short lived, every time her gaze made its way across the short distance between her desk and the desk across from her that feeling came back. Her heart was squeezed in a vice like grip, and she felt the thick swelling within her throat as she fought off everything that came upon her in those moments. Her head felt heavy – filled to the brim with emotions she only longed to forget – and her heart pumped at a rapid pace it felt as though it was going to explode right out of her chest at any moment. She took deep breaths to calm her, and closed her eyes to imagine things were different. Nothing seemed to help, his presence was overwhelming; a beacon that seemed to hum every time they were in the same room. Something was going to have to change, she couldn't work under these stifling conditions.

--

He couldn't stop staring, his eyes seemed drawn to her like a magnet drawn to metal. A smile pulled at his lips each moment his eyes locked on her form. He took in her beauty that radiated around the room with a fine tuned eye, she looked stunning and he only wished he could tell her such thoughts. He wanted to speak to her, to tell her he was sorry for not saying goodbye but he never found the right moment. Each time they were along someone interrupted or she left. His heart ached with new intensity each time this happened and he felt he had lost everything.

--

Days passed and very little words were spoken between the two. The tug and pull vibe of their relationship was in full swing as Ziva avoided being alone with Tony at all costs. Her heart thumped painfully each time she thought about what he would say to her, and whenever the situation called for it, she made excuses to leave. Not allowing herself to break when she was in his presence.

Tony tried to catch her around every corner. He'd attempted to sneak up on her and force her into talking but he'd only been eluded once more. He wanted to talk but the outlook seemed grim as of now. He'd hardly spoken three words to her in a single sitting; he'd merely had to bask in her presence throughout the time she'd been back. He didn't know if that would be enough much longer. He missed her so much when she was gone, now she was back and they had so much to catch up on but they were never allowed the moment.

He was forced to throw himself into his work to keep his mind off of her. He called Jeanne more often, and he finished all of his reports on time. No matter how busy he tried to keep himself she always wiggled herself back into the forefront of his mind. He hoped they could resolve the issues that had landed between them or else he may be forced to lock her in a room with him until they had everything back to the way it was.

--

Ziva tried to get back to the way things were, she really did. But each time she felt that she was falling into that old easy routine she once had, Tony would get a phone call and abruptly leave the area, whispering sweet nothings into the phone. It never failed to make her want to hurl, or throw something at the back of his head as he stood gazing out the window.

She forced herself to talk more, to be part of the team again but her efforts always felt strained. No one ever called her on her manners so maybe she was a better actress than she had originally thought.

She contemplated her life, wondering if she could let Tony in; without completely letting him encase her heart again. She knew they could be friends; she just didn't want to find herself too involved again only to end up heartbroken. She wasn't sure if that was possible, she was already too far gone.

--

Months had passed. La Grenouille and Jeanne Beniot had been cast off in weeks prior. Tony felt saddened by this, knowing how much he had hurt Jeanne; and how much he had hurt Ziva as well. He felt he was destined to let the woman who cared for him most down and he didn't know how he could handle the guilt of carrying such a heavy burden. He drew into himself, hiding away his feelings as he tried to keep the hurt away. He wanted to be happy again, carefree and fun-loving, but things just weren't the same as they once were, he was unsure if they ever would be.

He regretted not calling as the days ticked by and the tension remained unresolved. Everything was piling up, and pretty soon he was sure he would be buried in it all.

--

She was hurt, angry and filled with regret. Tony had fallen in love, she could see it when she looked in his eyes and it saddened her to admit that it wasn't with her. She could see the hurt on his face and she knew she was only making everything worse. She had to make an effort now; for both of their sakes.

--

She stood outside his door, her legs shaking as she wrung her fingers together nervously. She knew what she had to do, and she could admit that she was nervous. This could go one of two ways; good or bad and she honestly had no idea which way it was headed. She had to try though so she could ease both of their pain.

She knocked on the door with a shaking fist, cold sweat coated her forehead as she tightly clasped her hands together. _You can do this,_ her mind urged her forward and she nodded with a quick jerk of her head.

Before she could further hype herself up the door opened to reveal a shirtless Tony. His jeans hung low on his hips and his hair was tussled just so. He looked beautiful, and Ziva knew she was making the right choice.

"May I come in?" She questioned softly eyeing the space just beyond his left shoulder. He may hate her after this, but it would give them both the closure they needed.

"Yeah. Make yourself at home." Tony stated, pulling the door open further as he rubbed a tired hand over his eyes. He was happy to see that she was making an effort with them, but he didn't have the best feeling about the whole situation.

Ziva stood awkwardly in the threshold of the living room, she'd peeled off her jacket and laid it on the arm of the couch and now her arms were folded as she stared at her feet. She needed to do this, a straightforward approach was best.

Before Tony could question her about her impromptu visit he was stumbling back under the weight and force of Ziva's body colliding with his own. He regained his footing moments later only to realize his lips were infused with Ziva's. After the shock wore off, all of a second later, Tony was eagerly kissing her back. His tongue flicked along the edge of her lips, tasting the tang of the sweet appendages as she parted them to allow him deeper access to the confines of her mouth. His tongue swept through her mouth, tangling with hers intimately as they warred for dominance. One hand cupped her chin, just in case she pulled away, and the other one snared its way around her body, pushing her petite frame against his larger one with an almost crushing force.

He groaned briefly before he pulled away, only parting to heave much needed air into his aching lungs. He now knew the meaning of having one's air stolen from them; never before had he been so thoroughly kissed that it caused his toes to curl and his spine to tighten with anticipation. He didn't know what was going on, but he did know that he was enjoying the change.

His reaction pleased her. He hadn't pushed her away, he hadn't scorned her and shoved her out the door while demanding he never see her face again; this was a good sign.

She placed gentle kisses along the length of his neck and his hand drifted from her cheek to grip her waist. She pulled back to look in his eyes and she could see the confusion and hesitation swirling together within the green depths.

With a sigh her eyes slid shut momentarily before snapping open, her body fueled with her steely resolve. "Just pretend that I am her." She whispered as she placed a lingering kiss upon his lips.

"Ziva I..." His voice was choked as his fingers clenched in the material of her shirt he wanted to pull her closer, and push her away all in one moment. She had it all wrong and he needed to make her understand that before this went any further.

"Sh." She hummed gently with a shake of her head. "You need this." She pressed on, her heated lips now laying sweet kisses along his jaw. "For the closure you never got." It was her only explanation for her actions, for the way her body sagged against his muscular frame seeking all of him. "And I just need you."

She hated to lower herself to this; to allow another man to think of someone else when his thoughts should be filled with her and her alone, but it was the only way. After this they could move on.

"Ziva." He tried again, only for her to press her lips against his in a heated kiss. Her fingers tightened around his shoulders trying to pull him closer still as her body melded to the contours of his own.

"No more words Tony." She whispered gently, her words becoming lost in the stifling air the sparks cackled around them like lightening. She released her death grip on his shoulders, instead opting to seek refuge along the planes of his chest raking along the hardened flesh with nimble fingers as passions flared.

Words slipped from Tony's mind, stuck on his tongue but he tried to convey his feelings for her through his actions instead as his tongue swiped along the flesh of her jaw.

Ziva moaned softly as her hips were firmly secured to his own, feeling the prominent bulge that lay beneath the fabric of his pants. "Tony." She mewled, panted breaths slipping past parted lips as he tore her shirt from her body.

The air felt chilled as it engulfed her heated body but she paid little attention to it as her fingers dove for the button of his jeans, popping it open in quick succession before pulling down the zipper and slipping both pants and boxers down his hips before either could blink.

Tony made quick work of her remaining clothing, needed to feel her naked body pressed against his own; he wanted to worship her with his tongue hoping she would understand the words that had taken up residence there.

As soon as Ziva was free from her restricting clothing she swung a leg across his hips, pushing her wet heat against his straining pelvis with unwavering intimacy. The heat between them seemed to pulse, the air swirling thick with tension and feelings that were waiting to be resolved.

The jagged edges of Tony's teeth scraped along the length of Ziva's shoulder causing a shudder to run through her body at the feeling. She moaned softly, clinging to his body as he guided them onto the couch. "Tony please," She whispered brokenly, her back arching as she attempted to become one with him.

Tony couldn't deny her any longer, there was so much he wanted to do to her, things he wanted to make her feel; but right now the passion was so heavy he felt as though it would suffocate him with its intensity.

He swiped his thumb across her slit two times, testing her readiness, he was met with an abundance of moisture that seemed to cling to his finger and scorch him with the heat of her need. With a savage growl he plunged himself into her willing depths her name falling from his lips as her body clung to him as though she was made to perfectly contour to his body.

He pulled back slowly, loving the feel of sliding out of her almost as much as he loved the feel of plunging inside. His stomach quivered with anticipation as her name was rasped over and over with each new stroke.

Their hips were pulsing in perfect tandem and their pleasures soared to new heights. Ziva tossed her head from side to side as the man above her continued to pound into her with such satisfying results. She was quivering from the inside out, he seemed to be hitting all the right spots and she could not stop her shrieks of pleasure each time he did so. Her mind was a jumbled mess; she hardly comprehended the promises of love and adoration that fell from his lips, instead so focused on the feelings that were swirling inside of her.

It was building fast, that glorious peak that seemed to be getting higher and higher the faster and deeper he delved. The grunts and moans picked up in tempo; each new thrust pushed Ziva further into the cushions beneath her but she didn't care. The feel of being with Tony was so much more than she'd hoped it would be and she felt her mind beginning to white out with its intensity.

Her fingers gripped, scratched and pulled along his back as she urged him on. Sweat dripped down her neck, slowly sliding down her skin only to be captured by Tony's tongue before he sunk his teeth into the skin of her collarbone. He hummed pleasantly as her muscles squelched around his burgeoning length, his eyes rolling back into his head as his thrusts only came faster. He was close, so close, and he could feel she was as well by the way her walls seemed to be twitching in frantic concessions around him.

"Oh, Tony. Please." Her voice was a desperate plea.

"Zee-vah." Tony growled against her throat as he surged forward faster, his hand reaching between them to give a hard swipe to her clit. Moments later she came shattering around him, her back arched and her eyes fell shut as his name was pulled somewhere deep within her chest. The guttural noise she emitted along with the pleasurable spasms of her inner muscles caused Tony to follow her into the throes of euphoria. His hips pumped a few more times as he rode out his climax, small moans still falling from his throat.

After some careful maneuvering he landed on his back, sinking into the cushions of the couch with her body folded on top of his own. His breathing was labored, and he was sure she could hear the way his heart was pounding but he didn't care. This was the best moment of his life and he was about to tell her as much when she began to move.

Ziva stood slowly, allowing his flaccid member to slide from her body and ignoring the shiver that coursed through her at the feel. She smiled softly down at him as she then made her way to a standing position, distancing their physical proximity. "Thank you, Tony." She stated, her eyes alight in a way they had not been in a long time. "I think now we can both move on."

Panic surged through him at his words and he sat up so fast he was sure he had given himself whiplash. "No!" He shouted, louder than he intended. "There will be no moving on. I love you Ziva David, and now that I've had you, I'm never letting you go."

Her back stiffened at his words and she wasn't sure what she should be feeling. Anger warred with love, and love battled with hatred. "Do not say that." Ziva hissed in a deadly tone. "Do not tell me you love me."

Tony stood up, glaring down at her with hardened eyes. "I will tell you the truth Ziva, and the truth is I love you. I'd rather face Gibbs' wrath then to be without you another moment." He pulled her into his arms, placing an angry kiss upon her lips and pouring everything he was into it. When he pulled away he rested his forehead against her own, whispering the words he could not get out before, "I will never pretend you are anyone but who you are." He smiled at her softly, before his eyes took in her form with a slow perusal, something he had not been granted before due to the fire that had spread through his loins. "You're gorgeous." He murmured quietly to himself, eyeing her with greedy appraisal.

Ziva rolled her eyes, she still felt like smacking him, but she couldn't bring herself to actually stay mad at him. "Tony," She stated, drawing his attention away from her body and to her face, "I love you as well, but make no mistake, if you ever do anything stupid again; I. Will. Shoot. You." It was an empty threat, they both knew it but it was who they were.

As the fell onto the couch with a laugh Tony couldn't help but to think if the outcome would have been the same if he had answered the phone. There was no way to know for sure, but he did know that he wouldn't trade this for anything in the world.

**Uhm. Way OOC, I know, but I still kind of enjoyed it. Did you like it? Please tell me you did? I know it's been awhile but this is finally over! Aren't you happy? I hope so, I know I am. **

**I wanted the beginning to be kind of choppy. They were so unsure of everything and I felt that was an adequate way to show that. Please let me know your thoughts. They are very much appreciated.**

**And I am sorry for any mistakes, Its 5 in the morning and I have yet to sleep, so its probably not the best. I attempted to proofread but sometimes the words seemed to blur together.**

**Thanks again.**


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